I told my mother that my heart is weary and the pit of my stomach aches, the pain wraps me like a blanket, suffocating me.

She said “As your mother, I see that your life is chaotic. You’re blessed with good looks, money and all the riches but you are never happy. Your greatest test has always been one with your heart.”

I know everything about myself and my heart, I said has been my biggest weakness. I don’t let people in easily because I am not interested in people most of the time but when I do, I love and I give too much because I don’t do anything half-heartedly. I don’t want any of it anymore. None of this, I am exhausted, I have no more fights in me and I am done.

Knowing I am a control freak, a go-getter, she said,“Stop chasing, stop trying, you’ve done this all your life. Not everything is under your control.”

Despite having different views and beliefs, she then said “Pray, whatever’s meant to be yours will be and if it wasn’t yours, something better is yet to come. Don’t you ever worry.”

I realize there’s a kind of peace in that; letting go.